There and Back Again: The No-Nag Guide to Getting Household Chores Done
“Did you do your homework? Are you ever gonna clean out the garage? You’re gonna clean your room before you go to Friday’s party, right?”
How to enable end-to-end encryption for messages in Cloudly
Bibendum quis viverra at nibh adipiscing facilisi sed neque eget elementum, iaculis auctor feugiat quam dictum amet, consectetur velit fusce mattis imperdiet adipiscing iaculis accumsan mi neque ullamcorper lectus sagittis venenatis nulla in enim, pulvinar quisque erat mi at cursus pulvinar id suspendisse sollicitudin placerat fringilla est auctor enim congue
Malesuada amet viverra laoreet vulputate est amet commodo purus felis
Eget sit non lacus consectetur tempus, faucibus volutpat cras consectetur purus quis
Risus eu sed amet pellentesque mollis eget scelerisque tellus rhoncus mi semper
Egestas diam cursus adipiscing diam dictumst platea mollis egestas arcu magna vivamus
How to create a secret chat in Cloudly
Morbi a scelerisque pellentesque pharetra enim, metus risus sollicitudin eu tortor porta viverra imperdiet at ante libero, vulputate dignissim mattis imperdiet adipiscing iaculis accumsan pulvinar faucibus tempus auctor in urna commodo elementum porttitor ultrices justo, quis aenean morbi ut tortor sed id in nec nunc risus, eros sodales vel tortor vitae ut bibendum consectetur convallis.
How to know if a chat is end-to-end encrypted
Scelerisque imperdiet mi, imperdiet molestie laoreet eros semper tellus at blandit facilisis iaculis ultricies pellentesque nibh nisi lectus enim nisl enim ultrices pellentesque interdum aliquet et viverra ipsum massa risus iaculis eu feugiat massa in pellentesque ullamcorper et iaculis pulvinar nam risus sed laoreet nisl, tristique orci lectus ut adipiscing
Neque arcu, platea vivamus quis sed sit mauris in nisl eget mauris interdum aliquet
Consectetur arcu arcu ut aliquam metus nisl id pretium lacus netus velit
Elementum eu nisl amet suspendisse nulla urna tortor mattis nisi tortor sem
Sollicitudin arcu, pulvinar ligula vel nunc, enim placerat donec cursus diam praesent
How to configure Cloudly security and privacy
Quam feugiat maecenas nisl, ac nisl aenean sit id nunc ultrices hendrerit enim fusce adipiscing eget commodo ultrices libero feugiat et urna, mauris elit aliquam sagittis, fermentum at natoque condimentum sit nisi, malesuada dui in nulla viverra nunc gravida cras nec ac vitae nisl, cursus neque, posuere adipiscing amet eu velit sed tellus porttitor massa vestibulum, nisl, nec pretium tincidunt risus rhoncus, amet, ornare vitae vitae, habitant lectus penatibus pretium nunc senectus lobortis viverra sed amet, feugiat justo mi vitae
“Rutrum eget magna sit ut nunc gravida cras nec ac vitae nisl, cursus posuere tellus egestas quisqu mattis”
Aliquet augue ultrices justo donec dictum suscipit molestie eu quis aliquet ullamcorper est, tortor mi diam urna ultrices id sed id in enim egestas mi tempus est maecenas nunc et habitasse vitae semper cursus bibendum eu amet aliquam nibh tristique nisl mauris, venenatis tellus interdum neque, nec aliquam nec, et volutpat est, facilisis a ornare proin volutpat dolor, sit vitae ut suspendisse turpis hendrerit iaculis facilisis nec malesuada venenatis leo sed fusce cras dui amet quis at cursus in aliquam viverra nunc gravida.
You’ve been there and back again: repeating a version of the same requests many times a week. Like your personal version of the movie Groundhog Day, you can’t seem to break out of the “ask—ask —yell” loop. Yet nothing ever seems to get done without increasing threats and punishments.
And you’re EXHAUSTED.
Nagging is persistent questions or reminders to do something. If you’re the nagger, you may feel MORE mental load and fatigue the more you do it. It’s not good for anyone—and your relationships are likely suffering as well.
So how to break the cycle? Stop the nagging for good (and get stuff done!) with the nine steps below.
1. Communicate Clear Expectations
Nagging can come from a lack of clear expectations and collaboration. Statements such as “You always do this” or “It’s always in the same place it always is” aren’t helpful. In each instance, take the time together to define the 5 W’s (who, what, when, where, and why). Clarifying the exact date and time (down to the minute and time zone) may remove a large source of nagging.
Ask and define the important chore requirements together. If someone is working on a task for the first time, schedule regular check-ins to go over progress. For a painting activity, you may want to start the work together to set expectations. You can define these agreements within the app and share them with the task owner.
2. Collaborate to Achieve Buy-in and Ownership
Collaboration can take more time up front, but you’ll save that and more in future struggles. Start with asking a question they’ll say “Yes!” to. For example, your household may need a better system to organize keys and bills. You can place a tray and tell everyone to use it. Or you could ask, “You’d like a better system to organize important items, right? Let’s get together and talk about what we need and where to put it.” You may spend 20 minutes working through it, but everyone has input into the process and is more likely to use it.
3. Align Motivations
If you’ve ever thought, “It takes more time to nag than it does to do it myself,” you’re right. Work with your family to assign tasks that people prefer and are more motivated to do. If you’re the only one who cares about a task or its importance, consider trading responsibilities to handle it yourself.
4. Teach and Train
If a family member is taking on a new task, show them what the result should look like. Upload a photo within the app, or give them a checklist or video of the process to help. Consider doing it with them first. Try not to focus on telling them how to do something, but give them some tips and pointers. Allow them to come up with their own solutions to foster creativity and independence.
5. Take a Time-out
When you’re frustrated and feel the need to lash out—stop, and take a time-out. Angry communication doesn’t encourage others to help you. When you yell at others, their brain shifts to a “fight or flight” mode and won’t focus on fixing the problem. Take a few minutes to breathe, reset, and refocus your request.
6. Consider Your Timing
Choose a time that works best for the other person. Common times that don’t work are when tired, hungry, and in the early morning rush. Try asking after second breakfast, first coffee, or after lunchtime. Don’t assume someone has heard, understood, and agrees to ownership of your task the first time. Avoid making last-minute or sudden requests of others—send a task within the app instead. If you’ve set up a weekly family meeting, try to bring up tasks and to-dos during that time.
7. Embrace Mindfulness and Gratitude
Mindfulness and meditation teach you to acknowledge and push away unwanted thoughts. Try replacing nagging feelings with gratitude and positivity before proceeding with your request.
8. Power with Simple Positivity
Keep your request simple and straightforward. Avoid statements such as “I’ve told you many times before,” or “We always have this conversation.” Start with a positive affirmation or compliment before asking: “Thank you so much for helping your brother today. Will you help him log in to his classes every Tuesday and Thursday?”
9. Let It Go
Does leaving clutter around the home for a few days really affect anything? Can you shut the door on it (and not see it) for a few days? Does anyone notice? If not, consider letting it go for another day (or two, or many).
Nagging can harm your relationships and health, but if you use the tips above you’ll see results (without the nag!) in no time.