The Unique Pressures of Motherhood: Why Moms Often Feel More Parenting Stress
Motherhood is often celebrated for its joy—but rarely acknowledged for its weight. In this powerful piece, Utthara unpacks the invisible pressures moms carry: the mental load, the guilt, the emotional intensity, and the relentless expectation to “do it all.” Drawing on research and lived experiences, she reveals why modern motherhood feels so heavy—and why it’s time we start sharing that load more intentionally, at home, in society, and at work. This isn’t just a story about stress. It’s a call to empathy, understanding, and change.
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Motherhood brings immense joy, but it also comes with a unique set of pressures that many fathers don’t experience. Moms frequently face greater stress and higher expectations due to a blend of social, psychological, and biological factors. Understanding the dynamics that drive these pressures offers insight into how corporations can step in to support mothers in ways that have never been done before.
One of the key contributors to the stress that mothers face is the concept of the “mental load,” also known as“invisible labor.” Unlike the physical tasks of cooking or helping with homework, the mental load involves the behind-the-scenes work of planning and organizing family life. Organizing can include making doctor appointments or coordinating day to day needs for children. A 2019 study published in SexRoles found that even when both parents work, women are often responsible for the cognitive labor required to keep family life running smoothly. The mental load is constant and can lead to feelings of pressure and burnout, as it requires continuous mental engagement. One of S’moresUp mothers explained it best -
“It’s not about making dinner or helping with schoolwork; it’s the constant mental checklist that is exhausting even though I’m not physically doing them.
Society’s expectations of mothers create additional layers of pressure. Many moms report feelings of “mom guilt”—the sensation of never doing enough or needing to prioritize family over career. This is often driven by cultural norms and societal pressures that reinforce traditional gender roles, particularly in cultures where mothers are still expected to be the primary caregivers. Research published in Family Relations in 2018 supports this idea, showing that mothers often internalize these societal expectations, which can lead to chronic stress as they try to balance career ambitions with family responsibilities.
These pressures frequently translate into feelings of inadequacy when mothers attempt to juggle their dual roles at work and home.
Working mothers often experience added stress as they struggle with work-life balance. Studies indicate that mothers are more likely to feel conflict between their professional and family obligations than fathers, primarily due to heightened expectations that they“do it all.” A study in the Journal of Family Issues in 2015showed that working mothers face a significant amount of pressure to be both successful professionals and caregivers, which can lead to burnout and have negative impacts on mental health. This double standard means that mothers often face more significant trade-offs than fathers do, and the constant balancing act between home and work can be overwhelming.
Beyond these societal and psychological factors, biological responses may play a role in the unique pressures mothers feel. Studies on parent-child bonding indicate that mothers often have a heightened emotional response to their children’s needs. A 2019study in PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences) revealed that mothers’ brains show heightened activity in are as associated with empathy and caregiving. This deep emotional connection, while positive, can also lead to a sense of amplified responsibility and worry. Hormonal and neurological factors may strengthen this bond, making it difficult for mothers to distance themselves emotionally, even in non-stressful situations. This constant awareness of a child’s needs can lead to a heavier mental and emotional burden on mothers.
The lack of robust social safety nets in our society makes it incredibly difficult for working mothers, with no exceptions.
Corporations have a unique opportunity to step in where society falls short . This means cultivating a culture that values shared responsibilities, supports diverse parenting choices, and removes the judgment often placed on mothers.
Managing the mental load, facing societal expectations, balancing career and family life, experiencing social scrutiny, and navigating biological bonds add up to create a perfect storm for mothers in particular. While these challenges are experienced by both parents, mothers bear a disproportionate burden due to societal expectations that demand they juggle more—while performing at the same level as their partners. It is crucial that we move beyond outdated gender roles and instead foster an inclusive culture that acknowledges and alleviates the pressures mothers endure. In doing so, we can create a world where the joy of motherhood is no longer overshadowed by the weight of impossible expectations. Only then will we see true progress in the shared responsibility of raising the next generation.
